Currently in misery. This is not just because of the exams, but I just feel like I've chosen the wrong course.

I can't kid myself, engineering's not my thing, being in MS made me consider that as a possibility as a future career. Haha.

I just thought that, since I like Architecture, this might mean I would like this too. But the only module yang I could look forward to was just Architecture, while dreading the rest knowing I will have absolutely no idea what my lecturers are talking about. At home, I would be doing my Architecture work first before any other, provided that my other courseworks were not due during that week.

I haven't been enjoying the stuff I've been doing at all. I know no one's loving doing to their lectures and doing their assignments but c'mon, I should've had a blast during that Constructionarium. Or getting anything positive from it, personally.

Just thinking about my studies makes me depressed. If I were to try to talk about what I'm learning, I doubt I know what exactly I would be saying. The words would just be all jumbled up in my head with me going @$£¢#$^*&!≥‘≠! shear stress, hydraulic modelling, bending moment diagrams, lateral strain, torsion, dimensional analysis, buckingham theorem, product of inertia. $££$^%$&((?>£ª¶!

What I would have wanted was to take an Art course, if not Architecture. I could be doing my art coursework now, not getting frustrated with the moment of inertia or all those beam calculations. It's depressing to think about that.

I've gots to face the fact. I'm all about this stuff. Usai paip, bina struktur... bye bye hopes and dreams to just sit and marahi students yang shading dorang terlampau galap atau pucat atau lukisan dorang terlampau lampuh lapas atu suruh dorang ubah sampai lurus sampai keratas dorang haus sama terkuyak. That would have been a nice career, being an art teacher. How I miss my art classes. Took it for granted sometimes, but despite doing my work all alone in that one room, pretty much enjoyed myself.

I would like to menyumpah cikgu ku yang bayi ani giving us more coursework to do in the midst of the exams. Well, before the exams pulang. I mean, it's bad enough that after Constructionarium, there were still lab classes to go to and reports to do (fortunately, i was lucky enough to have finished my lab classes and handed in my reports before constructionarium HA) sekali he gave us another work to do which is some sort of a report to do about the Constructionarium. Then, he sent us another health and safety assignment sheet which, thankfully, he cancelled pasal ia 'kesiankan' kami with the workload we have besides studying. Sekali, right after I finished my coursework Constructionarium atu, when I thought I could finally focus on just studying, cikgu atu gave us another work to do, a test which needs to be handed in next week (I've got 6% of the module mark just for attending the lab heehee). Bayi wah Si Cikgu A. "Darah Bernilai" ah. HAHAHAHAHAHA I just got that. I think I'm going to join his 'appreciation' group arah Facebook. 

If I had taken an Art course, I wouldn't have known him. I know he hates me, underneath that plastered smile of his. He is onto me. Hope we won't be having him next year. Pasal notes nya bida jua.

Darah Bernilai *snigger* Counting the days til the exams. So wanna get it over with. Mau shopping, mau liat movies, mau dating, mau makan bisai-bisai, mau buang stress, mau main game and mau balik Brunei.

11:14:00 PM